One Hand Open

Parenthood is a time you learn just how amazing you are in so many ways.  You just learn to get things done that previously would have seemed impossible because there’s no other option. Case in point: The other day I was nursing the baby in one arm and cracking pistachios with the other for my 4 year old. All of a sudden, I realized, I am opening pistachios with one hand! I would never have thought that was possible before becoming a mom. That got me thinking… what else do we do with just one arm?

besides walk our goats…

  • Write emails, texts, navigate the web – no 2-thumbed typing here! Heck, I even wrote most of this blog post one-handed.
  • Put on make-up. Because of course they want to be held when the babysitter shows up.
  • Blow-dry hair – actually a great way to soothe a colicky baby
  • Get yourself or another child dressed
  • Carry 17 bags of groceries and a diaper bag
  • Crack an egg – no longer the exclusive skill set of fancy chefs.
  • Heck, make breakfast, lunch and dinner!
  • Open a soda
  • Open a bottle of wine (twist off makes this one a gimme…), pro-tip, hold it between your thighs and be thankful you don’t have a thigh gap!

  • Make a martini. Hendricks, shaken, up, dry, with a twist of lemon.
  • Pay for groceries, put that one card and ALL THE OTHER CARDS back into wallet after baby takes them out
  • Paint toenails. Also a little body-origami required for this.
  • Pick up another child – this one should be a crossfit exercise

what it actually feels like

  • Fold laundry. It may not be KonMari perfect, but it get’s the job done!
  • Pull second child out from under the water at baby pool
  • Administer first aid (aka apply ice packs and bandaids)
  • Give other children reassuring hugs and kisses

  • Go to the bathroom – this is challenging, but when your alternative is sticking your baby on a nasty public bathroom floor or half-broken changing table, yeah, it’s possible.
  • Wash your hand – singular, the one that you wiped and flushed with 😉

I guess the question really is… what can’t parents do one-handed?!

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